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Literature
Depression Is
Depression is a monster made up of endless hands that only reach out to drag you deeper. Hiding underneath the bed, waiting for the perfect moment to smother you. It’s smoke closing in, caustic fumes inside a closed room. It’s a gun none can outrun, Wild West, and you’re the saloon. Heavy shackles, a ball and chain weighing you down. It’s that feeling you’ve forgotten something, like turning off the stove and knowing there’s nothing you can do. It’s your car on a hill too steep to climb, and you’re rolling backward without brakes into oncoming traffic. It’s walking on broken glass barefoot. It wears a mask of your face, whispers in your ear that you don’t deserve to be here. It’s an object stuck in your throat, slowly choking you. Depression is thinking you’re alive until you notice no one can see or hear you, and the walls… you pass right through. It’s an ocean to a sinking ship, salvation so far out of reach. Sometimes, it’s a stalker watching from the window, waiting to make their move. Depression is a giant crushing everything below. A shark circling your bleeding feet in freezing waters. It’s a ceiling of spikes bearing down until you’re bled dry and your bones give out. A colorless world without warmth or sound. It’s endless rain and unbearable pain from a fatal wound that cannot be mended. It’s a villain, a menace and the reason too many lives have ended. Depression is…
Literature
snowy crescendo
Winter is dancing Sweeping flurries crystalize Grand jete blizzard
Literature
Watershed
The hail resolved itself. In the gap between the clatter and the first grumpy crow-call, I am thinking about Paul how after the brief hailshower on the hatchery field trip some sixty-odd second-graders watched a man bludgeon a salmon quite easily to death. It did not take much. I was astounded. Paul who I had wished would drop dead two weeks prior after he headbutted my stomach, drove the air as clean from my lungs as life from the fish fainted equally as clean away I was high with disdain, unbridled superiority, I looked down my nose at him for months. I can’t remember Paul’s face, his last name, but the hail covers the lawn, flashing fish-scale bright.
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Hello! In honor of CritMas ( 
First, the hook of the beginning is really well done, I think the exclusion of detail really makes the mind race and yanks the reader in. You also dangled this mystery act in front of the readers until the very end, all while dropping bread crumbs that could really go in any direction and we still don't get all the answers because what was the gift!? You really effectively created a mystery in a few words.
The only thing that could be improved slightly is the ending paragraph "Then, my birthday came" and so forth. It feels a bit jumbled in terms of the spacing of events.
Critmas 2016: Battle of the Critters!Greetings all!), an event geared toward mass critique and improvement for artists of all walks of color and line, I shall try my best at giving you an honest, fair and helpful critique of your piece!Only 3 days to go before we launch! Don't forget to sign up to be assigned a team!
I hope everyone is gearing up for the festive season! What better way to encourage the gift of giving with a bit of giving on deviantART here? Back for its 6th (yes 6th!) year running, I would like to introduce you to:
CRITMAS 2016:
BATTLE OF THE CRITTERS!
The challenge is back! Between the 12 days of Christmas (December 24th to January 6th), I am encouraging every one of you to submit at least 12 critiques (that's 1 a day) for this challenge. It doesn't matter what the art form is or your style of critique, it is all about giving back in the way most members on here value most; in giving feedback on their work.
But this year there is a slight twist!
All year in the North Pole, the critters have been working getting Christmas and Santa ready
First, the hook of the beginning is really well done, I think the exclusion of detail really makes the mind race and yanks the reader in. You also dangled this mystery act in front of the readers until the very end, all while dropping bread crumbs that could really go in any direction and we still don't get all the answers because what was the gift!? You really effectively created a mystery in a few words.
The only thing that could be improved slightly is the ending paragraph "Then, my birthday came" and so forth. It feels a bit jumbled in terms of the spacing of events.